I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
