dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
