I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
