Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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