Me. At least after what I've been through.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize