I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't deserve a penis
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
