he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
