we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
