i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
