Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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