yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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