never play flip cup with pint glasses
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize