i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
