East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
