Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
