he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
