Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
