Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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