Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
