i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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