I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
