Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
