so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize