I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
