Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
