fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
