if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
