Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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