so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize