ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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