and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
