It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize