I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i dont even know how to be here
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
