where am i from again
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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