how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
