If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
