Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Randomize
