btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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