The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
