and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
