K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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