well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
