so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
