I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
