another moral hangover. fuck.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize