I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
