have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
