spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize