Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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