So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
