I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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