he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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