Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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