Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
we're so committed to being not committed
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
