I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize