I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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