You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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