It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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