You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize