So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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