it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
