Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
