we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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