Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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