i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
