Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
