But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
