This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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