Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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