I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
